Kathleen Carpenter has officially left the building. After a brief illness, she made her final exit on March 5th at the age of 79, in Nashville, TN. Born on July 13, 1945, in Queens, NY, she was the daughter of the late John H. and Anna (Adams) Carpenter. She graduated from Newtown High School in 1963 and, proving you're never too old to hit the books, earned her associate degree from Goodwin College in 2003.

Kathleen spent her career as a top-tier quality control inspector, making sure that circuit boards used in space shuttles and military equipment weren't held together with duct tape and a prayer. She took her job seriously—because, let's be honest, nobody wants a glitchy motherboard when they're orbiting Earth.

While she was a stickler for precision at work, Kathleen was best known for her razor-sharp wit and self-proclaimed status as a "smartass New Yorker." She had a lifetime of legendary stories, including one about a peeping tom squirrel that would cling to her second-floor bedroom window screen and—no joke—occasionally bring her flowers. She was a voracious reader, a crossword puzzle master, and a music lover with a playlist that spanned from Kenny Rogers to Lady Gaga. A dedicated political and news junkie, she could debate anyone into the ground—and usually did. And let's not forget her undying love for Diet Pepsi. She departed this world leaving behind a mere ten 2-liter bottles, a true testament to her devotion.

Her greatest source of pride? Her children—whom she often claimed turned out surprisingly well, "despite her." She is survived by her son Anthony James Greco Jr. and his wife Elizabeth of Wantagh, NY; her daughter Annmaria and her husband Scott Tierno of Nashville, TN; and her son Stratos John Bonos of S. Grafton, MA. She was also the proud grandmother of Anthony James Greco III and his wife Shwetha of Queens, NY; Vincent Peter Greco of Wantagh, NY; James Francis Greco of Brooklyn, NY; Emma Rose Tierno of Chicago, IL; and Mary Grace Tierno of Nashville, TN.

Kathleen also leaves behind her siblings John Carpenter, Patricia Woebber, Ann Lohnes, Peggy Drenckhahn, and Jim Carpenter, along with their beloved spouses. She was predeceased by her sister Marianne Craig and brother Michael Carpenter. She also leaves behind a whole slew of nieces, nephews, extended family members, and lifelong friends.

The family would like to thank the incredible staff at Vanderbilt University Medical Center's Emergency Room, ICU, and palliative care units, as well as Alive Hospice, for their kindness and support. They're also grateful to the Nashville Center for Rehabilitation for helping Kathleen in her final months.

In true Kathleen fashion, services will be private—because she hated a fuss. Instead, a celebration of life will be held at the convenience of the family, where stories will be told, laughter will be shared, and Diet Pepsi will be poured in her honor.

Rest easy, Kathleen. The world just got a little quieter—and a lot less funny.